better-than-kanye-bitchh:

parents: you need to clean your room

me:

codeinewarrior:

*walks into starbucks* lemme get uh spaghetti bolognese macchiato

“sir we don’t serve that”

don’t bullshit me i saw the secret menu on instagram

hi:

seeing your friends after they went out and had fun and “forgot” to invite you

cumsquats:

a hundred motha fuckas cant tell me nothin. im deaf why are they yelling at me